Of course, it makes sense now.

Road houses should be UFO themed with slightly creepy doll collections.

Pubs should hold old collections of undewear and hang them for display over the bar.

Farmers should decide that there aren't enough tropical fruits being grown in the arid, dry outback, so establish a mango farm.

And roads should be used for picnics. Especially bc the main highway between Darwin and Adelaide only hosts a car or truck every ten minutes or so.

It's day three (I think) of our road trip. Despite the fact I've been living in the Territory for 10 months or so, I have learned a hell of a lot about this place in the last few days.

Lesson one: Giant birds love to fly directly for your windscreen. It doesn't help to duck under your steering wheel when slightly frightened.

Lesson two: Don't sing the road trip away. Not only does it annoy your fellow passengers, you may end up with a slightly hoarse voice.

Lesson three: Don't make bets with strange men in pubs about the amount of food you can eat. It will only end up in tears. Or taking money from people that probably can't afford it.

Lesson four: Drink mango wine. Don't drink mango port.

Lesson five: Don't look down while walking if you are drunk. Apparently this makes you walk slightly awkwardly. And the bouncer at the local pub doesn't like that.


I'm sure there'll be more lessons learned.

But, for now - I'm going hiking. Pretending to be healthy.